Chuck Norris fixes some problems
by BabyTosser69
Summary: After a run in with jesus and Morgan Freeman, Chuck Norris decides to fix some problems.


Chuck Norris fixes some problems

Chuck Norris was one day drinking lava from his hands and stabbing aliens with his face, when suddenly- Jesus appeared. Jesus had brought with him- A MAJESTIC PILE OF POTATOES, which he began to throw at chuck Norris. Chuck began to deflect them with telekinesis- when suddenly SUPERMAN appeared and slapped Chuck across the face. Chuck Norris became extremely angry, and yelled "U WOT M8" before tackling him to the ground. Chuck and Superman began to beat eachother up, throwing punches powerful enough to burst the sun at eachother. Jesus watched intently, as the only fighting style he knew was potato throwing. Chuck Norris gritted his teeth deep into Supermans chin, and ripped his face off with one mighty tug. Superman screamed in agony, writhing on the floor and crying in pain.

Chuck Norris stood up wiping the blood from his lips- He turned to jesus, who shrieked and backed away. Chuck began to inch closer and closer, when suddenly Morgan freeman appeared and began to narrate, "Suddenly, Jesus found the strength in himself to beat up Chuck Norris". Jesus' shirt ripped off, revealing a MASSIVE SIX PACK. He screamed a battle cry and punched straight through Chuck Norrises face, blood splattering on the wall. Jesus was relieved, however his six pack disappeared. Jesus turned around to Morgan freeman "Thank you, Morgan, for helping me-"Suddenly, Chuck Norris grabbed Jesus by the neck and ripped off all the flesh on his head. Jesus shrieked and collapsed, writhing in pain on the floor. Chuck Norris looked to Morgan freeman, and took a large step towards him. "Chuck Norris Doesn't Want to Beat Me Up!" he yelled, Before Chuck pushed his fist deep down Morgan Freemans throat, ripping out his voicebox. Morgan attempted to scream, but no screams came out. Chuck Norris grabbed Morgan Freeman by the head, and pushed in his eyeballs until they exploded. Chuck Norris' bloodlust was unquenchable- and he left to kill Justin Beiber.

Justin Beiber was performing at a concert, singing his peace 'o crap Baby song- When suddenly, Chuck Norris jumped in with a battleaxe and sliced his body in half, leaving him to scream like a sissy. All of his fangirls became infuriated and began to run at him, and Chuck prepared his axe. The first wave approached, and Chuck sliced them to pieces. Then another wave of fangirls appeared, with Justin Beiber pointy fingers, and began attempting to stab him in the eyes, however chuck melted them with his laser beam eyes, and then threw the molten plastic in their ears, deafening them for good. The rest of the fangirls began to cry, screaming and running. Suddenly Chuck noticed something, the fangirls were actually robots, Justin Beiber had been simulating his fame the whole time, and Chuck knew it. Justin was still screaming and crying, his legs being missing, when suddenly Chuck Norris picked him up. He knew TV cameras were still playing, so he shoved his fist straight through his body and into his skull, causing his whole body to explode. He looked at the cameras with a face that would cause a man to cry in fear- and said "Usher, you're next."

4Chan was having a field day with the death of Justin. Several media coverage teams had attempted to take down the video of it happening, but /b/ kept getting people to repost it. The forum was overflowing with jokes about Chuck killing Beiber, and questions about how he would kill Usher. The forum was also buzzing with normal activity, when suddenly a Anonymous user uploaded a video. People were confused at first at what it was, however, people soon came to discover what it was. The video was of usher, tied in a deadly quiet room, so quiet you could hear his heart beat. A voice spoke to him "Usher, how long have you been in here?"

"Please let me out!"

"Now now user, answer my question…"

"2 Days…"

"Now, let me explain the situation."

The corners of the room lit up, showing several loudspeakers in the room too. Usher screamed, but he stopped and yelped, his ears being hurt.

"I'm going to kill you with sound, Usher, and if you live, you'll be deaf."

"Noo!"

The loudspeakers began to blast Baby, a loud ringing noise very distinct among the noise. Usher couldn't be heard screaming- Blood began to flow from his ears as he screamed. Then his eyes exploded, and the music turned off.

"How do you feel, Usher?"

He didn't respond. A man walked into the room, and all the lights turned on. Chuck Norris was revealed.

"If you EVER make another terrible album, ANY OF YOU. This will be your fate."

He then ripped off ushers head, planting maggots in the exploded eyes, and placing them in front of the camera. The next 2 hours of footage was maggots eating out Ushers eyes.

Chuck Norris was never seen again, his whereabouts unknown. Nobody ever made a bad song ever again, and Kim Jong Un signed a peace treaty with the US as a result, and stopped making long range nukes. The world had came to peace because of the death of Usher and Beiber.

Teh Edn


End file.
